New Virus Warning
What follows is an e-mail warning I sent to all employees of my company this morning. I felt it prudent to cross post it here.
TECH ALERT:
New Virus Warning
April 1, 2005
WHAT
Due to the recent discovery in the lab of the first Computo-Human virus, researchers have become increasingly concerned that, due to the ease of transmission (through casual keyboard and/or mouse contact), the global reach of the Internet and the ease by which young hackers could replicate and distribute these destructive payloads, this type of computo-human virus (known by researchers as Win32/ap.fo01 or "compu-flu") could quickly become pandemic, causing one of the largest outbreaks of its kind.
HOW
Researchers in Palo Alto have created a computer virus that is capable of transmitting itself through human contact with the keyboard or mouse. While they've achieved greater transmission rates with newer "USB Style" peripherals, they've found viral levels to be dangerously high for users of the older "PS/2" and "AT" style keyboards as well.
It was discovered that routine contact with the keyboard can transmit the virus to your skin. From there it slowly migrates into your circulatory system to lie dormant while it replicates and begins using the human as host for distribution to other keyboards and mice the human might come in contact with. The virus is typically excreted from the human host through the sweat glands or through saliva.
As a simple example of how rapidly this virus could spread, imagine using an infected computer at work, going home, using that computer -- the same one your family uses -- and then your spouse goes into work and your kids go into school. Once the computers in a school or other workplace get infected, the rate of infection multiplies exponentially as other users of those systems then become carriers of the virus.
HOW TO SAFEGUARD YOURSELF
In our workplace I will begin installing sub-dermal scanners -- to be used in place of the usual password -- to gain access to your workstation.
This scanner will delicately remove (scrape) a fine layer of cells from your epidermal layer using a finely honed blade similar to what you might find in a typical disposable razor. The device will then analyze and compare the DNA strands found within your cells to existing records of your DNA previously collected to determine if you've become infected.
To ease privacy concerns, the scanning devices incinerate your genetic material using high powered lasers (similar to those found in DVD burners) after the scan is complete.
Because of the ease by which you could pick up the virus, this process must be repeated after every prolonged absence from the computer such as a coffee or cigarette break, lunch or even going to the bathroom. The time you can be away from the computer is determined by the system, but the average time allowed is approximately 3 - 4 minutes.
Because it doesn't matter where the machine removes the cells from, you may wish to rotate the finger you use every day to allow for the normal body healing processes to occur on the other digits.
WHAT IF I'M INFECTED?
Due to heightened fears of terrorism, recent communications from the DHS and FBI indicate the only way to prevent "rogue" viruses from spreading is to immediately quarantine anyone who has had contact with the computer at which the virus is detected.
To that end, the devices installed in our workplace will be wired into the security system and will send notice to dispatchers who will take appropriate measures -- such as replacing the infected computer with an iMac (see below) -- to ensure the safety of all employees.
Obviously minimizing contact with the infected individual is critical upon discovery.
ARE THERE ANY OTHER WAYS TO PROTECT MYSELF?
As is the case with most computer viruses, users of the Apple Macintosh line of computers as well as Linux based computers are SAFE from infection.
FINAL NOTE
You've heard me say this many times before: PLEASE don't open strange or unexpected attachments you might receive through e-mail.
At home, be sure to protect your Windows based computer with a good anti-virus scanner, a hardware firewall and one or more spyware detection programs. In addition, keep your computer up to date with the latest critical updates by running Microsoft's Windows Update and please, please, please run a safe browser such as Mozilla Firefox instead of Internet Explorer.
Being extra cautious is the surest way to prevent your computer from becoming infected with any computer virus, worm or spyware.
Lastly, with the exception of the paragraphs in this Final Note, please be cautious of everything you read on the Internet. Someone might just be pulling your leg - April Fool!
TECH ALERT:
New Virus Warning
April 1, 2005
WHAT
Due to the recent discovery in the lab of the first Computo-Human virus, researchers have become increasingly concerned that, due to the ease of transmission (through casual keyboard and/or mouse contact), the global reach of the Internet and the ease by which young hackers could replicate and distribute these destructive payloads, this type of computo-human virus (known by researchers as Win32/ap.fo01 or "compu-flu") could quickly become pandemic, causing one of the largest outbreaks of its kind.
HOW
Researchers in Palo Alto have created a computer virus that is capable of transmitting itself through human contact with the keyboard or mouse. While they've achieved greater transmission rates with newer "USB Style" peripherals, they've found viral levels to be dangerously high for users of the older "PS/2" and "AT" style keyboards as well.
It was discovered that routine contact with the keyboard can transmit the virus to your skin. From there it slowly migrates into your circulatory system to lie dormant while it replicates and begins using the human as host for distribution to other keyboards and mice the human might come in contact with. The virus is typically excreted from the human host through the sweat glands or through saliva.
As a simple example of how rapidly this virus could spread, imagine using an infected computer at work, going home, using that computer -- the same one your family uses -- and then your spouse goes into work and your kids go into school. Once the computers in a school or other workplace get infected, the rate of infection multiplies exponentially as other users of those systems then become carriers of the virus.
HOW TO SAFEGUARD YOURSELF
In our workplace I will begin installing sub-dermal scanners -- to be used in place of the usual password -- to gain access to your workstation.
This scanner will delicately remove (scrape) a fine layer of cells from your epidermal layer using a finely honed blade similar to what you might find in a typical disposable razor. The device will then analyze and compare the DNA strands found within your cells to existing records of your DNA previously collected to determine if you've become infected.
To ease privacy concerns, the scanning devices incinerate your genetic material using high powered lasers (similar to those found in DVD burners) after the scan is complete.
Because of the ease by which you could pick up the virus, this process must be repeated after every prolonged absence from the computer such as a coffee or cigarette break, lunch or even going to the bathroom. The time you can be away from the computer is determined by the system, but the average time allowed is approximately 3 - 4 minutes.
Because it doesn't matter where the machine removes the cells from, you may wish to rotate the finger you use every day to allow for the normal body healing processes to occur on the other digits.
WHAT IF I'M INFECTED?
Due to heightened fears of terrorism, recent communications from the DHS and FBI indicate the only way to prevent "rogue" viruses from spreading is to immediately quarantine anyone who has had contact with the computer at which the virus is detected.
To that end, the devices installed in our workplace will be wired into the security system and will send notice to dispatchers who will take appropriate measures -- such as replacing the infected computer with an iMac (see below) -- to ensure the safety of all employees.
Obviously minimizing contact with the infected individual is critical upon discovery.
ARE THERE ANY OTHER WAYS TO PROTECT MYSELF?
As is the case with most computer viruses, users of the Apple Macintosh line of computers as well as Linux based computers are SAFE from infection.
FINAL NOTE
You've heard me say this many times before: PLEASE don't open strange or unexpected attachments you might receive through e-mail.
At home, be sure to protect your Windows based computer with a good anti-virus scanner, a hardware firewall and one or more spyware detection programs. In addition, keep your computer up to date with the latest critical updates by running Microsoft's Windows Update and please, please, please run a safe browser such as Mozilla Firefox instead of Internet Explorer.
Being extra cautious is the surest way to prevent your computer from becoming infected with any computer virus, worm or spyware.
Lastly, with the exception of the paragraphs in this Final Note, please be cautious of everything you read on the Internet. Someone might just be pulling your leg - April Fool!
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